Virtual.Thingamajig

Trump's Gonna Want Proof

2011-05-01T21:17:00.001-07:00

You know it's true.

A death certificate.

The beard.

Something.

Just sayin'.

On a serious note, congratulations to the military personnel involved. Great work, and we are proud of you. I really hope we get a detailed story on how all this went down. It sounds fascinating. Although, I wonder if we'll ever know the identities of the soldiers involved, or if that will be kept a secret for their protection.

Anyway, hat's off to you guys.

We Don't Make Commercials Like This....

2011-03-29T19:16:00.001-07:00

Check out this fantastic British commercial titled The Story of Johnnie Walker featuring Robert Carlyle (Ravenous, 28 Weeks Later and many others). It clocks in at a little over five minutes, but it's one straight take. Supposedly, it took 40 takes to film this and they got it right on the last one. We don't make commercials like this in the U.S., and it's not just because of the length. We don't make commercials this clever. Well, maybe one in a thousand. We used to see great commercials during the Super Bowl, but even those aren't very good anymore. This is just a very well-made, interesting and entertaining commercial. You don't mind watching it for five minutes. I'm curious if it ran at full length in England.

Anyway, check it out.

Your Opinion Is Wrong

2011-03-26T21:53:00.001-07:00

I visit RottenTomatoes.com quite a bit. It’s one of my favorite sites for movie—and other strange—information. As you would expect with a movie site, there is considerable debating and critiquing of movies. In those debates, it’s common that a member says that another member’s or critic’s opinion is wrong. This is followed by the inevitable reply: “It’s an opinion, and it can’t be wrong.”

When the hell did this attitude start? It reeks of that touchy-feely, Kumbaya-singing, politically correct mentality that we seem to be teaching these days. The same mentality behind the current trend of all kids on sports teams getting some sort of award at the end of the season—even the ones who did absolutely nothing.

“Hey, Bobby, here’s your trophy. No one….kept the bench…warmer…than you this season.”

“Thanks, Coach,” Bobby says as he drops the trophy, then trips over his own feet leaving the stage.

No, your opinion can most certainly be wrong. Let’s look at this in terms of movie reviews. I have to be honest. Many of the critics you find on Rotten Tomatoes are just not that bright. This is a problem caused by the Internet. I remember when we had real movie critics who wrote long, thoughtful reviews in the newspapers. “What’s a newspaper?,” you might be thinking. Google it.

Now, anyone can be a movie critic simply because they like movies. They have no experience or education in film, but they can create a blog, and that’s all you need these days. There is no real barrier to entry. There’s nothing wrong with enthusiasm and a love of movies, but you need more than that. Lack of experience leads to misinterpreting—or just not understanding—symbolism, missing references to other movies, periods in history, etc., or maybe the critic just doesn’t have the mental horsepower to process what he or she is seeing and hearing. All these things will affect the reviewer’s opinion; which could make that opinion…wait for it…

Wrong!

But this doesn’t just apply to movie reviews. Your opinion can be wrong in the business world, the political world, in your dating life, and in your financial decisions. It’s an opinion, not an Infallible Statement of Truth. Anyone who says they don’t look back on one of their past opinions and think “wow, was that wrong,” is a liar.

Your opinion is easily influenced by your age, education, lack of experience or maturity. Any—or all—of these can lead you to making horribly wrong decisions. How many times have you heard a story about a drunk driver leaving a bar at 2:00 am only to kill an innocent person on his way home? In his opinion, he was OK to drive. He was wrong. Oh, it’s your opinion that you should trust that nice Nigerian man who sent you that e-mail regarding the $43 million just waiting for you. Of course you’ll forward your bank account information ASAP! You will be wrong. Very, very wrong.

Still not convinced? How about one more example? How about something on a more global scale? It was Bush’s opinion that we should invade Iraq and, well…look at how that turned out.

But as Dennis Miller (remember when it was ABC’s opinion that he would be a good addition to Monday Night Football?) used to say: Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Best Trailer Ever?

2011-03-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

A trailer for a new game, titled Dead Island, recently surfaced. OK, it might be a bit of hyperbole to call it the greatest trailer ever—for a game or movie—but this is seriously impressive. Now, I know what you’re thinking: more zombies? Are we close to saturating the market on the undead? I don’t know, really. As long as something is done well, I’m not sure if overkill still applies. I think the real question here is if this trailer is setting the bar impossibly high for this game. How can it possibly live up to this? I’ve already read some stories that, based on some footage seen at recent conventions, game play is quite a bit different. Only time will tell, I guess. But until the actual game comes out, I’m going to enjoy watching this trailer.

(You might want to go to YouTube and view this at a larger resolution....)

Testing!

2011-01-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

So, this is an experiment. I'm writing this blog post using only my voice with Dragon Naturally Speaking software by Nuance. I hope to use this software to write more in the future, but I need to use it more often. I'm having a hard time getting used to this. Very different.

However, this is pretty cool. I can see using this in all sorts of nefarious...I mean...cool ways. Yeah...

I also have to say I'm pretty impressed that it recognized the word "nefarious." I'll need to do a serious test some time to determine what sort of vocabulary the software really has.

Discombobulate!

Very impressive.

1/6: Custom Figure Stands

2010-12-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

I've been playing around with custom items lately and created these stands to sell. First time I've created something solely for the purpose of selling. Both have paper currency in various denominations, jewels, gold bars, and spent shell casings.

Kinda like how these look. Might need to make one for myself.

Bank Robbery Gone Wrong: U.S. Version

Bank Robbery Gone Wrong: Euro Version

The Dead...They're Walking

2010-11-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

If you missed the premiere of AMC's The Walking Dead last Sunday...well, what the hell were you thinking? The series got off to a great start with the pilot episode. It was very faithful to the source material, while fleshing (no pun intended) out the story and characters a bit more. Dialogue was better than in the comic, and there were some nice emotional touches that lifted this above the regular slate of movies you find on the SyFy channel.

But that's not what this post is about.

Whenever something zombie-related comes out, a serious debate resumes. A debate as old and serious as Batman vs. The Punisher, a Star Destroyer vs. the Enterprise, and R2D2 vs. Data.

And here it is: Can zombies run?

This is currently being debated on a few boards I visit. People will point to 28 Days Later and say: "They're not true zombies; they're just infected with something." Others refer to the "undead" argument. "They're actually dead. They're bodies are falling apart. How can they possibly run?" This is also a factor in the Undead Nightmare DLC for Red Dead Redemption. The zombies in the game will run at you. Others scramble on all fours after you like rabid animals. I'm here to tell you that it seriously freaks me out. Perhaps you heard me screaming and swearing the other night while I was playing.

Simon Pegg of Shaun of the Dead—who is a serious geek himself—has also weighed in on the issue. I won't use the entire quote here, just the part that really matters:

"I know it is absurd to debate the rules of a reality that does not exist, but this genuinely irks me. You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can't fly; zombies do not run. It's a misconception, a bastardisation that diminishes a classic movie monster."

Here is a fantastic example of precisely how absurd it is to debate these things. In the novel, Dracula can move around in daylight (although he is weaker) and is ultimately killed by being stabbed through the heart with a Bowie knife. And that's from the man himself, Bram Stoker.

So while we geeks will continue to debate these things because it's what we do—it's how we roll; it makes us what we are—we shouldn't get bogged down in these details. Just calm down, sit back, and enjoy a good story. Remember, until the inevitable zombie apocalypse actually occurs, we don't know what the hell they're gonna do. So be prepared either way.

[/geek rant]

Zombies, Zombies on the Range....

2010-10-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Rockstar has released a couple downloadable content packs for its fantastic game Red Dead Redemption that haven't interested me. These focused on multiplayer game play which is typically not my cup of coffee brewed in a tin pot over an open fire. (See what I did there?). The problem with playing with other people is essentially playing with other people. I'm a single-player guy. I want the story, dammit!

Well, now Rockstar is busting out the awesomesauce and will soon release another DLC pack called "Undead Nightmare." Here's the description:

"The Pack will feature an entirely new single-player campaign that follows John Marston as he tries to find a cure for the highly infectious zombie plague that has spread across the frontier. Seemingly overnight, a zombie plague ravages the once bountiful frontier, decimating the landscape and reawakening the dead. In towns, settlements, and outposts throughout the world, the uninfected citizens are left to fight for survival against waves of the undead. John Marston must ride out into the vast and terrifying world and survive long enough to find a cure. "

Holy crap! Excuse me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard. It's like they looked into my mind and made content just for me. No release date has been announced yet, but we all assume it will be very close to Halloween.

Here are a couple videos showing game play. Two words: zombie bears! They're like bears...except zombified. I may have to wear some Depends while I play this.

The Happy Meal Project

2010-10-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

A New York-based artist has been keeping a McDonald's Happy Meal on her shelf as an art project for the last 180 days. Other than the food getting hard, she claims it really hasn't changed in appearance. Which is little frightening if you think about it. I haven't eaten fast food in a long time, and this certainly won't get me to try it again any time soon. I'm sure my Mom would claim this to also be true of Arby's food.

McDonald's, of course, is skeptical of the story.

Read the story (and see a picture) here.

P.S. I have to admit that I'm a little curious about trying this myself to see if it's true—particularly after reading the comments from the McDonald's rep and the doctor.

Who Do You Write Like?

2010-07-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

A new web site called I Write Like is getting some serious attention. You paste in a sample of your own writing, click Analyze, and the web site matches your writing style with a famous author. It's not perfect. Currently, its database only contains 50 authors and users have discovered some surprising matches.

For example, Mel Gibson's recent telephone rants are apparently similar in style to Margaret Atwood. If Atwood's sales suddenly drop, I think we'll know why.

Another example: According to the site, Herman Melville writes likes Stephen King. I'm inclined to think Melville might be a bit offended by this. The site's creator says Melville isn't in their database yet, but they are working to improve the site.

Of course, I had to give this a try. I pasted in a full page from what will likely (hopefully?) be my first novel. And the results are (drum roll, please)...

I write like
William Gibson

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Without taking this too seriously, I have to say that this pleases me. I'm a fan of Gibson's writing, and in an earlier blog post I discussed his writing the best description I have ever read. So what does this mean? Ultimately, probably not much. If my writing would have been compared to Stephen King—a result that many of the site's users seem to receive—I would be more inclined to dismiss the results. However, it is interesting that I was compared to an author with a much smaller, but loyal following whose writing style I do admire. They obviously have work to do on the site, but maybe they're on to something.

Curious about your writing style? Try it out for yourself.

I Write Like

1/6: Putting the HT Cuban-American TrueType Body to Use

2010-06-08T14:23:00.000-07:00

I picked up both of the HT TrueType bodies when they came out, and I recently opened up the Cuban-American version and put a bash together. So here are a few comments in a brief review.

I have to say I really like these figures. Some may consider the head sculpt a bit harsh-looking, but it's definitely different and I like it. The paint application is very nice and the rooted hair hangs nicely without chunks of hair sticking out at strange angles like a scene out of There's Something About Mary.

I also like the slender body. Clothing fits nicely on this. One of my problems with the BBI/Cy Girl bodies is the wide hips on all of them. Putting on tight clothing was very difficult, and you could frequently see the hip joints through the clothing which just looked weird.

The body comes with 2 pairs of hands and feet: relaxed and gun hands, and flat feet and high heel feet. They are very easy to remove from the body without having to worry about breaking anything. A nice change of pace (I'm looking at you Triad.)

It has 28 points of articulation and the joints are tight without—again—worrying about breaking something when you pose her. Overall, this is a great body, and I really have no complaints with it.

I have no idea what this character is. Maybe she's a Monster Hunter; maybe she's a bounty hunter. I'll decide on that later. All I know is that I like the final product.

WritinMan says: A

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Putting the HT Cuban-American TrueType Body to Use

A Tale of Two Video Games

2010-06-02T14:17:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I rented (thank God for Gamefly) Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and was surprised by how disappointing it was. I have liked several of the other titles in the Call of Duty series, but this entry just reeked of the game's developers—Infinity Ward—taking themselves way too seriously. It just wasn't fun. And isn't fun the ultimate point of any game? It was just hectic, frantic running and shooting—and being shot at by a ridiculous number of enemies. There was no pacing; no suspense. No real storytelling. I particularly hated the Rio de Janeiro level. The graphics seemed great, but how would I know? I spent the entire level running, jumping, and ducking like a maniac. It was created using the "throw a bunch of crazy crap at the player" school of design. And don't get me started on the Russian Airport level. That had nothing to do with moving the plot forward. That was nothing but gratuitous violence and shock value. The effort should have been spent on creating something worthier of the Call of Duty name. For that matter, the entire game should have been worthy of the Call of Duty name.

A few days ago, I took a chance and purchased Red Dead Redemption. I never really played cowboys and indians as a kid—I wanted to be either Spiderman or Indiana Jones—but I do really like Western movies. Some of my favorites are Westerns, actually. I had seen quite a bit of the pre-release footage from the game, and I had high hopes. I'm not disappointed. The look, the game play, the story, and the voice acting are all top-notch—and I'm not even close to finishing it yet. The developer, Rockstar Games, clearly did their research from watching many movies to—I suspect—reading some books on the topic. But they'd probably never admit to that last part in a court of law. I'm not surprised really. Rockstar's claim to fame—the Grand Theft Auto series—is always entertaining and well-done. They even created the game that got me back into gaming after I nearly quit: Bully. One of the best games I've ever played. The music, design, and setting of Redemption are all perfect. It's truly enjoyable to ride your horse to the top of hill to discover a sunset over an unknown canyon. Kind of a "wow" moment. Rare in video games, I think. I actually got pissed and a bit sad when I lost my Pinto to a pack of wolves. I really didn't care when any of the characters in MW2 died.

But here's the moment that really sold me on the game.

I took a night watch job over at the MacFarlane Ranch. This involves following a guard dog around the ranch, waiting for the inevitable bad thing to happen. What's interesting about this is the suspense it creates. You know something will happen, but you don't know what, where, or when exactly. Well, eventually the hound dog caught the scent of a horse thief. I ran after the dog to discover the thief already sitting on a horse and shooting things up. I pulled my big ol' double-barrel shotgun and fired once, knocking him off the horse. I knew I didn't kill him. However, the horse was between us, and I couldn't see him and didn't know what was going on. The horse reared back and then took off. The thief was getting up and drawing his gun. I gave him the other barrel, finishing the job. I have to say, I really felt like I was in a Western. Better still: It was good game play. Sure it was slower-paced. There were no machine guns, tanks, helicopters, and explosions from nowhere. But it had suspense; it was thrilling; and it was fun.

It's really that simple.

Modern Warfare 2 feels like it was created after the designers watched several crappy straight-to-video action movies starring Wesley Snipes and Lorenzo Lamas. Red Dead Redemption feels like a direct descendant of The Man with No Name, Rooster Cogburn, The Long Riders, and 3:10 to Yuma. There really is no comparison. The real question, though, is how well will Redemption sell? Westerns—in all genres—typically aren't big money-makers. Hopefully, it will make Rockstar money, and maybe we'll see similar efforts in the future. Hopefully.

According to the game's stats, I've only completed 16.5% of Redemption, but I have played for 12 hours. I don't play games like this quickly. Despite the fact that I've still got a lot of game ahead of me, I think I can give it an accurate rating. I'll likely revisit this in a future blog post when I finish the game.

WritinMan Says:

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: C-
Red Dead Redemption: A (and possible game of the year…)

Best Auction I've Seen in Years

2010-05-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

This is truly heard to believe. A fine example of truth is stranger than fiction. I've said it before and I'll say it again: make sure you read the complete description before bidding on Ebay. But, hey, it's on sale for half price right now. You can't blame the guy for trying. Or can you?

What the?!?!?!?

Maybe That Gray Hair Isn't Just From Stress

2010-05-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

In a recent commencement speech, it appears that Obama had some harsh words for some of our favorite electronic gadgets:

"And meanwhile, you're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't always rank that high on the truth meter. And with iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations — none of which I know how to work — information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation. So all of this is not only putting pressure on you; it's putting new pressure on our country and on our democracy."

And in the blink of an eye, Obama goes from being a hipper, more in-touch president, to Old Man Obama, yelling at the kids to get the $#%@ of his lawn. You think all of these devices are a source of major problems for us in this country? In the world? Seriously? In reality, these devices are probably keeping most of us sane right now. Come on, Obama, don't be that guy. You were elected because people thought you weren't that guy. Don't screw it up now.

Well, that's OK, because most of don't really know what "work" you actually do in the White House. Or what "work" you did to earn that Nobel Peace Prize. I guess that kind of makes us even then.

What the...?

2010-04-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, what the hell kind of flavor is this? What does this even mean? Doritos—now with more step-on-your-crotch flavor! I think this is Japanese, but I'm not sure. It certainly fits with the hundreds of other photos I've seen of Japanese products.

By the way, I didn't take this picture. I just stumbled on it one day.

But It's the Only Jib I Got!

2010-03-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

Years ago, I remember watching an episode of the great, animated series The Tick. Not the live-action version with Patrick Warburton—the animated series from the mid-90s. After the commercial, a scene starts with a crazy little bug-eyed villain telling a story to a group of people in a bar: "So the guy says to me, 'I don't like the cut of your jib.' And I say, 'Well…it's the only jib I got!' "

That's it. No explanation of the story or the joke behind it—just the punch line. And I've always loved that line. It's stuck with me all these years, and I'd love to work it into a story or book as a tip of the hat to a great show. It's just such a great nonsensical throw away line.

I had a similar moment today while at the dentist.

I sat down in the chair, and my dentist and her assistant were preparing to replace one of my fillings. As they worked, they were having a discussion that I couldn't follow no matter how hard I tried. It involved some missing children—who may or may not have been foreign—a mysterious Polaroid camera, and a dead person.

All of a sudden my dentist looks up and says: "And that's why I don't want to be cremated!"

Well, there you go. And I don't like the cut of your jib. It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. The mouthful of dental equipment helped. I never did figure out what they were talking about. But I now have another line to try to work into a story.

You Too Can Be a Food Nerd!

2010-02-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

My recent increased interest in cooking, combined with the fact that I'm more interested in the nutritional value of foods as I get older, resulted in my discovering the Nutrition Data web site. Just enter the food—from a piece of fruit to a McDonald's Big Mac—and get a complete nutritional break down of that item. A cornucopia of caloric facts. A plethora of...

I'll stop.

Seriously, though, if you ever wanted all the nutritional facts for a food, here you go. There's probably too much information here. I'm still trying to figure out the colored charts, but they're interesting to look at.

The Food Network's resident nerd, Alton Brown, would probably love this site. If you're interested in learning more about what you're eating, you might find some interesting facts, too.

Nutrition Data

But She Forgot the Gravy...

2010-02-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

So...I was at the grocery store the other day, waiting in line to pay. A woman gets in line behind me and places her items on the belt: one pound of bologna and a large, 3-gallon tub of chocolate ice cream. Was she some sort of food MacGyver?

Damn, I thought. Now that's a party!

Then I had a flashback to when I spent several months as a cashier in one of those giant warehouse stores. It was one my jobs during my college years.

People who have been cashiers for a long time likely have some great stories. The more unusual the store, the better the story. I probably should have paid closer attention to the people that came through my line during my time as a cashier. Although, I don't think I would have come away with too many interesting stories. I do remember a really strange German guy. Ultimately, my stories would probably pale in comparison to the stories of gas station or liquor store clerks.

There's probably a pretty good book in these memoirs. Tales of a Disgruntled Cashier or maybe Conveyor Belt Confessional. Surprised someone hasn't thought of it yet.

Now that I think of it, I have much better stories from my other college job. I could call that book Old Popcorn and Greasy Hot Dog Water: Doin' Time as a Concession Stand Manager.

You never know....

I'm No Fitness Trainer, But...

2010-02-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

I think I can offer a few exercise tips based on some personal experience at the gym in my apartment complex. So, here it goes.

You're not actually exercising if:

You can read a magazine while exercising.
You can talk on your cell phone while exercising.
You don't form one bead of sweat on your forehead while exercising.
When you're done, you can immediately put on your coat and leave as if you've done nothing for the past 30 minutes.

If any of these are true for you, you're just going through the motions and fooling yourself. You aren't doing anything other than pretending so you can pat yourself on the back. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Now, go work up a sweat. Grunt a little. Whatever it takes.

Goodbye 2009!

2009-12-31T12:15:00.000-08:00

And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Frankly, you were a shitty year, and no one is going to miss you.

Here's to better things in 2010. I'm looking forward to next year just so I can say "twenty-ten."

1/6: The Operative

2009-12-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the Bourne movies, Taken, and the upcoming Splinter Cell game, I decided to make a no-nonsense agent of my own.

I used a BBI French Foreign Legion Bruno figure as the base. I really like the unusual head sculpt. All the equipment came from many, many sources. Too many to remember. He is able to carry all this equipment with on him or in his bag. The silenced M4 9mm conversion is one of my favorite weapons made by 21st Century Toys. I added the scope and the laser sight.

Click the ass-kicking thumbnails for the larger versions.

The Operative

Using my Generic Bad Guy figure...

I like the "don't mess with me" pose I was able to get here.

1/6: Mortally Wound William

2009-12-30T12:44:00.000-08:00

I thought of this last year when Triad first announced the Vendiva outfit, and didn't get around to putting the figure together until July of this year—oddly enough, not long after Carradine's death. A bit of unfortunate timing there.

This is the first Triad Otaku body I purchased (although I also have the Lola figure), and I have to say it's very nice. However, I am concerned about breaking it. The pose in the photos could very likely be the only pose this body will ever see. Sort of a glorified statue.

The Vendiva suit is very well-made, but very tight. Perhaps you heard me swearing while putting this together—a string of obscenities floating in the distant breeze. It might be easier on a BBI body. The track shoes that came with the set are also well made, but I didn’t really want them, so I sold them. And, yes, it is possible to zip this suit all the way up, but I thought something might explode so I left the zipper down. My only real complaint: I wish the zipper was black instead of white.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Mortally Wound William

20 Years Ago...

2009-12-29T11:53:00.000-08:00

I found this old advertisement on the Internet earlier this year. Twenty years ago this was a top of the line computer. It's a Tandy 5000. "Our most powerful computer ever," the ad declares. Most powerful ever with a 20MHz processor and 2MB of RAM. Today's cell phones and game consoles are more powerful. I have a calculator that might be more powerful. Other highlights: VGA graphics, it operates DOS 3.3, and it appears to have one 3.5" floppy drive. But it doesn't come with a monitor or mouse. That's extra.

All this for...$8,499.

That's right—no monitor or mouse.

$8,499.

But, hey, you could use it to make spreadsheets! On the computer!

Technology has come a long way in 20 years. Hand-held devices that are essentially small computers. PCs are much more powerful. Wireless networks. High-speed Internet. Games. Video. What will we see in the next 20? It boggles the mind trying to think about it.

Shave the Baby!

2009-12-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking. This sounds like a reality show set in the southern states of the US. No.

What we have here is the perfect gift for those hard-to-buy-for relatives this Christmas. Straight form Japan it's: "You Can Shave the Baby." Because...who wouldn't want to do this? Right? Anyone? Hello? Bueller?

Seriously, this is so strange I don't even have words for it. It manages to be both funny and really creepy. But if your company is having one of those Secret Santa-style gift exchanges, this would be the perfect item to share. You'd never be forgotten. After you were fired.

Click the picture below for a larger version...if you have the stomach for it.

Yeah, You Want Some

2009-11-24T15:53:00.000-08:00

I like to cook. This year, my interest moved from a staple of survival to an actual hobby. I cook a variety of things, but I'm not a big fan of having a "specialty." I can't help but think that if you have a specialty, you're likely neglecting some other dish.

That being said...

I must officially declare myself Lord of the Barbecue Chicken Pizza. It took time to perfect, but I have done it. No, I'm not going to give you the recipe. Dream on. Maybe I'll do something with it someday. I have no idea, but I'm not giving it to you.

You'll have to excuse me now. This smells and looks fantastic, and I'm a hungry man.

Yeah, you want some.

1/6: "Comin' Mr. J!"—Harley Quinn

2009-11-20T12:05:00.000-08:00

"She's just creepy." - Rick, OSW

Well, I think I'm done with my Harley Quinn as I think she might look in Nolan's movie universe. Despite the more real-world look, I still imagine her voice as provided by Arleen Sorkin from the animated series and recent game.

Created from a Triad Lola, and a variety of other piece-parts. Her red dress-type thing is from the old Ebony Cy-Girl. It is starting to deteriorate and split when I put it on her. It bothered me at first, but now I think it fits the character. The biker jacket is also from Ebony. Boots are from Sideshow's Xenia Onatopp. She has three knives, a shotgun, a small sledge hammer, and a custom cattle prod.

I'm pretty proud of this. Not often a figure comes out as good or better than I imagined. Anyway, here she is... .

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

"Comin' Mr. J!"—Harley Quinn

I thought I was quite clever to think of this little detail in the following two photos. However, if you think about it too much, you just go: "Ewwwww..."

"Time for a little shock therapy B-Man!"

With the Hot Toys Joker...

How she is displayed in my collection...

Badass!

2009-11-17T12:33:00.001-08:00

Every now and then, I swear a book or movie is released specifically for me. It's been awhile since I've found one, but here we go: Badass: A Relentless Onslaught of the Toughest Warlords, Vikings, Samurai, Pirates, Gunfighters, and Military Commanders to Ever Live. That just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

I must read this.

NaNoWriMo, Week 1 and Counting...

2009-11-10T19:00:00.000-08:00

Well, just for the record, I am quite behind in my writing quota for NaNoWriMo. That's all I'm going to say about the numbers.

But I'm still writing.

Yeah.

And Here We Go...NaNoWriMo, Day 1

2009-11-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

And so it begins.

Imagine that being said in a really melodramatic way. Like in a movie. Picture James Earl Jones saying it.

Anyway, at the end of the first day, I have 1,780 words. Not bad. I won't post updates everyday. That would be kind of annoying. But I will post another update at the end of the first week, when I clear 12,500 words.

Notice how I'm being positive here. Totally unlike me.

NaNoWriMo

2009-10-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

No, I have not had some sort of mental breakdown which reduced me to spouting baby talk. Next month is NaNoWritMo, National Novel Writing Month. The goal of NaNoWriMo is simple. Starting November 1, participants have until November 30 to write a 175-page, 50,000-word novel.

Last year 120,000 people tried, and 20,000 made it. This year, I will be one of those trying.

50,000 words in a month.

12,5000 words per week.

1,667 words per day.

I'm a little concerned that the story I have in mind isn't 50,000 words long, but we'll see. Those words can add up quickly sometimes.

One month to do something I have not been able to do in 40 years of life. I think I can count all 40 years of my life as I wanted to be a writer from a very early age. I also wanted to be Spider-Man and Indiana Jones. This is my only realistic option.

This should be interesting. I'm expecting a lot of swearing.

Visit their web site for more information.

Review: Be the Bat!

2009-10-27T16:38:00.000-07:00

"Come on boys! He's just one man! One man dressed like a lunatic and armed to the teeth." - The Joker

I haven't purchased a brand-new video game in awhile. I prefer to rent now—much easier on the wallet. But when Batman: Arkham Asylum came out, I had to get it. The premise behind the game is simple: The Joker takes over the asylum, releases prisoners, and wreaks havoc. And you—Batman—must stop him. If that doesn't give you goose bumps, you might need to get your pulse checked.

It's an impressive production reuniting much of the voice talent from the great Batman: The Animated Series from the mid-90s, including Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, and Arleen Sorkin. The game design and graphics are fantastic. Arkham is dark, foreboding, and atmospheric—the perfect place for Batman to stalk his foes. Character design appears to be a combination of comic book tradition and the stylish look of B:TAS. Batman is particularly impressive, stepping away from the solid black of the movies, and returning to the old school dark blue/gray costume.

Much of Batman's rogues gallery makes an appearance. The Joker and Harley Quinn have major parts. You never actually see the Riddler, but you hear him. He constantly taunts and challenges you with riddles and several hidden items to find—an interesting addition that extends gameplay. Batman is frequently exposed to Scarecrow's hallucinogenic toxin, resulting in a fantastic—and emotional—cut scene from Bruce Wayne's past, some great side-scrolling gameplay as you try to avoid a giant version of the Scarecrow, and another surprise I won't spoil. We also get Bane, Mr. Zsasz, Killer Croc, and Poison Ivy. I would have liked to see Catwoman, but I guess she didn't really fit into the storyline.

As the game proceeds, you gather an impressive amount of Bat-tools: Batarangs, Explosive Gel, the Batclaw, and the Line Launcher to name a few. And this equipment is upgradeable as the game progresses, creating new options. However, I really would have liked some sort of flashbang or mini grenade like Batman uses in the recent movies.

One of the best parts of the game is sneaking around and terrorizing the bad guys—you know, being Batman. It is so much fun using your grappling hook to climb around inside and outside of buildings and observe what's going on below you, or using your cape to silently swoop down for the attack. But to be honest, I was having fun just running around the corridors of Arkham Asylum while my cape billowed behind me.

Hand-to-hand combat is more complex than you might think. Early on it seems to be little more than carpal-tunnel-inducing button mashing. However, there is some strategy to it, and as the game progresses—and you unlock more moves—it becomes a surprisingly deep, enjoyable, and easy-to-use combat system. There is something incredibly satisfying about dropping from your high perch, waiting for the bad guys to rush at you with your back turned, then royally kicking their ass.

So are than any real problems with this game? Any quibbles I have about the game are, frankly, minor, but there is one problem—it's way too short. The story is great, but it's just over too soon. Showbiz people always say you should leave your audience wanting more, but, damn, give me some more! Sure the Riddler's challenges extend the gameplay—even after you've completed the story. And the challenge maps you unlock as you play—where you fight groups of henchmen using specific moves to earn points—are fun. Ultimately, the game just leaves me wanting my perfect game—a GTA-style Batman game where you can travel throughout Gotham City in your Batmobile (that you customized), track down and terrorize bad guys, decide which super-cool equipment to use (that you customized), and generally lay down the law like the badass Batman is.

Maybe someday.

In the meantime, WritinMan still says: A

See? They ARE up to Something!

2009-10-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

As you can see, the video in my previous post has been removed from YouTube. It's a cover-up! A conspiracy! The Russians are up to something!

Where is Oliver Stone? This should be a melodramatic movie.

In case you missed it, here's a still image.

What the...?!?!?

2009-10-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

OK...what the $%#@ are the Russians doing over there?

This very strange cloud appeared over Moscow last week, but no one really seems to be talking about it. I can't help but think they did something over there. Some sort of experiment.

An official spokesperson for Moscow's weather department said, "Several fronts have been passing through Moscow recently, there was an intrusion of the Arctic air too, the sun was shining from the west — this is how the effect was produced."

Riiiiiight.

Admit it. You're trying to manipulate the space-time continuum to go back and win the Cold War. ADMIT IT!

Judge for yourself...

1/6: Sneak Peek WIP: Harley's Comin'

2009-09-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm feeling experimental. More accurately, I'm feeling like potentially ruining a perfectly good head sculpt.

Here's my attempt—or the start anyway—at a Harley Quinn that would fit in Christopher Nolan's Batman universe. I used a Triad Lola head for this. Harley is the former Dr. Harleen Quinzel, an Arkham Asylum psychiatrist who falls in love with the Joker, becoming a villainess and his...let's say..."girlfriend" for lack of a better word.

Although, I haven't read every storyline involving Harley, she always struck me as more humorous than dangerous. However, the recent Joker graphic novel made her absolutely bat-&%$# crazy and every bit as creepy as the love of her life.

Here's the classic Alex Ross illustration of the Joker and Harley in her traditional look. I'm trying to do something different.

I don't know when I'll finish this. To be honest, I've only finished painting half of her face—which worked out well for this preview. I'll try not to let this project gather dust, though.

Click the thumbnail to view the larger version.

Harley's Comin'

1/6: Generic Bad Guy

2009-08-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

Ah-ha!

You thought I forgot about 1/6th didn't you? Wrong! Well, I've been taking photos, and I have some more stuff to show, so...we'll start here... .

It dawned on me not too long ago, that I've been collecting 1/6 for years, but I didn't have a generic bad guy to use for photos. If I needed a bad guy I'd use whatever was handy, but I didn't have a figure dedicated to the cause. I actually put this together last December—I think—and just got around to the photos last month.

I put this together using black BDUs (Soldier Story? Toy Soldier?), some equipment from a Soldier Story CIA SAD figure, and a BBI FAMAS—always a cool weapon just because it's so unusual-looking.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Generic Bad Guy

But He Could Have Eaten the Cows...Part 2

2009-08-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea Clinton.

I first wrote about this over four years ago, and I think some thought I was making it up as it didn't get much attention in the news.

Apparently the offer is still good. A reporter asked Secretary of State Hillary Clinton about it during a stop in Kenya.

NAIROBI, Kenya – A Kenyan man's offer of 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea Clinton's hand in marriage may still be on the table—and Hillary Rodham Clinton has promised to convey the "very kind offer" to her daughter.
To laughter at a town hall meeting Thursday in Kenya, CNN's Fareed Zakaria asked the U.S. Secretary of State if the Clintons had made a decision on the dowry offer. In 2000, a Kenyan man wrote to then-president Bill Clinton offering the animals in accordance with African tradition.

After a pause, Clinton said, "My daughter is her own person, very independent, so I will convey this very kind offer."

That being said, I'd just like to say that my offer is also still on the table. I can now also throw in one really hairy and quite attitudinal cat.

In this rough economy, it's a pretty good deal.

Think about it.

The End of the World as We Know It?

2009-08-03T15:43:00.001-07:00

Wow. OK.

I read last week that Robert De Niro is going to be in a movie with...

Wait for it...

Are you sitting down?

Here it is...

Steven Seagal.

Yeah, that's right. Isn't this one of the signs of the apocalypse? OK, maybe not, but it's REALLY weird. The movie in question is Robert Rodriguez's Machete. The fake trailer for this movie was possibly the coolest thing to come from 2007's Grindhouse. And it proved to be so popular that Rodriguez decided to make a real movie. Technically, IMDb has both actors listed as rumored, but, seriously, this needs to happen, and they MUST have a scene together.

De Niro. Seagal.

It blows the mind.

She Scares Me!

2009-07-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I'm not the only person freaked out by the weird androgynous chick in those awful new Palm Pre commercials. She might be creepier than the little girl in the Orphan previews. Honestly, who thought this was a good idea?

The reincarnation commercial is probably the worst. All the lives she's living? What the hell is she talking about? What kind of devil-spawn is she? Kill it with fire!

RIP, Darrell "Shifty" Powers

2009-07-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know who wrote this, but I saw it on a web page I visit regularly, and thought I would repeat it here as it's one of the many stories overlooked daily. With several TV channels and web sites devoted to covering news these days, you'd think this could have gotten a few minutes of attention.

One of the "Band of Brothers" soldiers died on June 17, 2009.

We're hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services.

I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell "Shifty" Powers.

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle", the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 . . . " at which point my heart skipped. At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . .do you know where Normandy is?" At this point my heart stopped.

I told him yes, I know exactly where Normandy was, and I know what D-Day was. At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland, into Arnhem." I was standing with a genuine war hero . . . and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France, and he said "Yes. And it's real sad because these days so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in Coach, while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and still care is enough to make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it. And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on June 17 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center.

No wall to wall back to back 24x7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that's not right.

Let's give Shifty his own Memorial Service, online, in our own quiet way. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Movies: District 9

2009-07-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

When the teaser trailer for this movie first appeared a couple months ago, no one really knew what to make of it. It came out of nowhere, but the "Produced by Peter Jackson" credit immediately got everyone's attention. People wondered: Is it a satire? Is it going to be silly? What the #$%& is it?

Well, a new trailer is out, and I have to say this doesn't look silly at all. There may be a bit of satire here, but this looks like some serious science fiction—something we haven't had in awhile. Transformers 2 doesn't count.

I'm really looking forward to this now.

Watch it in HD if you have the PC horsepower.

District 9

A Look Back at E3

2009-06-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

Well, another E3 has come and gone. The dust has settled, and the Booth Babes have gone home to clean off the nerd drool—and that must be quite a cleaning bill. So, now that it's over, I have a few thoughts. First, and most important, I will go to an E3 someday, and I may never leave.

But seriously…

Although many of the games shown at the conference looked great, I can't say that I'm really impressed with too many of them. I continue to be perfectly content with not owning a Wii. I must confess to being a bit of a PlayStation fanboy, but I have no burning desire to own a PS3. My PS2 still works fine—it's one of the greatest electronic devices I've ever purchased. I still have games I'm playing on the PS2 and it's great for playing my DVDs. Unfortunately, there isn't a single PS3 exclusive that makes me say: "Damn! I need to get me one of those!"

Don't get me wrong; there were still some impressive demos of upcoming games. Batman: Arkham Asylum looks fantastic, but to the developer—Rocksteady—who is making PS3-only exclusive content: Screw you. Screw you with a red-hot Batarang. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Splinter Cell: Conviction will continue the push towards games as interactive movies. Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood looks like some gunslinging goodness in the Old West—a genre rarely explored in games. Mass Effect 2 looks epic. And it looks like Star Wars: The Old Republic will prove that the Star Wars universe is alive and well as long as Lucas is not involved. Unfortunately, I don't play MMORPGs, so I won't be partaking. Honestly, these game trailers look better than most movie trailers. Anyone who says that video games aren't serious business is nuts.

But I think the most impressive announcement came from Microsoft during their press conference. No, I don't mean The Beatles: Rock Band. I wonder if the game will truly represent The Beatles career—one great song for every three that suck. I'm talking about Project Natal, Microsoft's planned motion sensor system. Of course, Microsoft demonstrated the obligatory painting game and the always popular smack-the-flying-things-by-waving-your-hands game. We clearly need more of those. However, the demonstration got really interesting when Peter Molyneux—creator of some of the most ambitious video games released in recent years—unveiled his vision for Natal. The videotaped demonstration featured a virtual boy talking and interacting with a live woman. It was extremely impressive.

When I saw it, my first thought was: Wow, imagine how this could be used with role-playing games.

No, that's not true. My first thought was: Holy crap! Molyneux just created Skynet! We're all gonna die!

Then I thought the stuff about the role-playing games. Seriously, with the facial recognition technology, interacting with characters could be taken to an entirely new level. And imagine interacting with items in games such as The Elder Scrolls series or Mass Effect. It's like we just took a major step closer to actually having holodecks. Rumor has it that the price for this will be $200. If that's true—and if game developers can use Natal to its full potential—it sounds like a steal to me.

Dammit!

2009-05-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

Let me just go on record that the most worthless feature on a computer is that little "Standby" button that is becoming so common on keyboards. For those of you who have yet to discover this, the Standby button shuts the computer down and puts it in...well...standby mode. In other words, it puts the computer into hibernation. This happens very quickly as opposed to selecting Standby through the Windows taskbar.

DAMMIT!

I just hit the button while I was writing this! I just don't see the need for it. If you're trying to quickly hide what's on your monitor, just shut the monitor off. I swear if I could disable this button I would. Maybe I can seal it up with glue so it can't move.

I'll probably end up gluing the keyboard to my hand.

Take That, Hollywood!

2009-05-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

This extremely well-made short fan film is set in the world of the Half-Life 2 video game. Apparently they filmed two parts to this for $500. Part two hasn't been posted yet, but this is extremely impressive for a couple of guys working with a very low budget. Hollywood, which continues to crank out crappy movies with exorbitant budgets, should take notice. There is talent out there that can get the job done much cheaper—and probably better—than some of your regulars. You might want to take notice and give them a chance.

Watch it in HD if you have a high-speed connection and the PC horsepower.

The Internet Traffic Report

2009-05-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when the Internet isn't working properly? We've become so accustomed to accessing anything, anytime that it can be more frustrating than telephone or cable TV outages. The worst part about it is not knowing where the problem is. Sure, it could be a hardware problem with your computer, or it could even be a virus. However, odds are something on the ol' Interweb blew a gasket and you're paying the price.

That's where the Internet Traffic Report comes in.

Internet Traffic Report

This handy site tracks the flow of Os and 1s through Internet servers all over the world. Just click your area on the main page to see a list of servers. Each server has a color and a numerical value (0-100) indicating the status. If the servers in your area are green, you're good to go. If they're red, you have a serious problem. Of course, if it's bad enough (with a "0" status, for example) , you might not even be able to access this site.

This won't tell you what you can do to fix the problem, but sometimes it's good to know that the problem is wide-spread and the Internet hasn't singled you out.

Now if they could just add a helicopter sound effect to make it feel like a radio traffic report, the site would be perfect.

OK, that's probably not necessary.

Movies: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Really.

2009-05-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Forget Star Trek, Transformers 2, Angels and Demons, G.I. Joe, and all those other big summer blockbusters. This is the movie to see this year! I think it's particularly funny that Debbie Gibson is in this. Yeah, the singer.

If they replaced Lorenzo Lamas with Samuel L. Jackson and worked in Christopher Walken as a mad scientist, this could have been the greatest movie ever made.

By the way, this isn't a joke. You can rent it from Netflix.

It's like someone saw the picture below and decided to make a movie. Except...bigger.

On a serious note, when I watch this I can't help but think that if someone was able to get this thing funded, I can sure as hell get one book published.

Oh, by the way...yes, I did put this in my Netflix queue. What do want from me? There's a giant shark...attacking an airplane... .

I'm only human.

In Defense of Books

2009-05-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Let me be clear about this up front: I like books. I like the way they feel. I like the way they smell. I like the way they look on the shelf. I like books. Now, with that completely...unbiased…opinion out in the open, allow me to discuss the Amazon Kindle.

Amazon recently announced the second version of the Kindle, their handheld device for reading electronic books, newspapers, and magazines. I don't own one, but I recently got the chance to give the new Kindle a bit of a test run. I've never seen the original version in-person, so I can't compare the two, but I can compare the new Kindle against good ol' fashioned books.

Let's look at some of the selling points according to Amazon:

Amazon says:
Lightweight: At 10.2 ounces, lighter than a typical paperback.

I say:
OK, but I never pulled a muscle reading a book.

Amazon says:
Improved display: Reads like real paper; now boasts 16 shades of gray for clear text and even crisper images.

I say:
I can't compare it to the original Kindle, but I thought it was kind of annoying reading the text on a digital display. It wasn't hard to read, just…strange. I really don't know if I'd want to read a long book on this, but I'd probably need to give it more time. Which I don't really want to do because it annoyed me. A Catch-22.

Amazon says:
Longer battery life: 25% longer battery life; read for days without recharging.

I say:
Sounds good, but you know what doesn't need a battery? Books. True story.

Amazon says:
More storage: Take your library with you; holds over 1,500 books.

I say:
OK, but who really wants to do this? Recently, I've been giving away some of my excess books that I know I'll never read again. Can you do that with e-books? If it's possible to trade them, is that even legal?

Also, there's something nice about seeing books on a shelf. It's comforting. Now imagine a nice oak bookcase with only a Kindle sitting on a shelf. Not quite the same is it?

Amazon says:
Faster page turns: 20% faster page turns.

The Kindle has a new easy-to-use 5-way controller, enabling precise on-screen navigation.

I say:
So? I will admit that the navigation was easy to use, but, honestly, you have to look long and hard to find something easier to use than a book. That's why so many people prefer paper manuals as opposed to electronic manuals for software or electronic devices—they're easier to use.

Amazon says:
Read-to-Me: With the new text-to-speech feature, Kindle can read every newspaper, magazine, blog, and book out loud to you, unless the book is disabled by the rights holder.

I say:
Well, that is a nice feature, but it sounds like Stephen Hawking reading to you. Plus, a recent news story reported that the Kindle can't pronounce the word "Obama"—as in President Obama. It says "Alabama" instead. Barak Alabama.

And considering the Kindle supports high quality audible books from sites such as Audible.com—read by professionals or actors—"Read-to-Me" doesn't seem like an impressive selling feature, and I have to wonder why it was included.

Amazon says:
Low book prices: New York Times Best Sellers and New Releases $9.99, unless marked otherwise.

I say:
That's more expensive than a new paperback, and if you do a little digging, you can find used paperbacks for a penny through Amazon Marketplace.

Not looking too good for the Kindle in my opinion. Here are a few more thoughts. As I played around with the Kindle, it felt a bit fragile to me. I'm quite sure I would break it, probably by dropping it or knocking it off the table. Then stepping on it. You have to bear in mind that I'm probably the only person in the world to break a Maglite flashlight through normal, everyday use.

Another major problem is the price. It costs $359. That's a lot of money in the best of times, but in this weak economy, it's truly an extravagance that not many can afford right now.

I like electronic gadgets; I really do. But I just don't think some things are necessary—at least not yet. I don't really see the need to carry around a potentially easy-to-break, expensive electronic device. Books work just fine. They won't short out if you drop them in the tub. I'll be sticking with them for quite some time.

However, I must point out a possible exception. Amazon recently announced a larger version of the device—the Kindle DX. This larger version is supposedly ideal for textbooks. This could be great for college students. College textbooks are incredibly expensive, and lugging them around from class to class can be a pain. Literally. The DX costs $489, but maybe colleges can create a rental program, where students can return them after they graduate.

I still think a lot of them would get broken, though.

WritinMan says: C

A Guide to Buying on Ebay or...How to Avoid Getting Ripped Off!

2009-05-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

I've purchased items on Ebay for years, and I can honestly say I've never had a problem with a seller, and I've purchased items from England, Japan, Russia, Turkey, and the Czech Republic. I know several people who have been screwed. Am I smarter than them? Maybe. However, I think the difference is that I'm much more careful when I purchase items.

I've put together a few tricks to help you out in case you've been screwed in the past or you're thinking about buying that certain collectible you've had your eye on for years.

If it sounds too good to be true...
This adage is probably the best advice to keep in mind when buying anything-on Ebay or somewhere else. If you find a listing for a "beautiful, like-new diamond ring" with a Buy It Now price of $20, I have some bad news for you. It won't be beautiful or like-new. And it won't be a diamond. Yeah. Sorry.

If there's no photo, don't buy it!
Digital cameras are too common these days to let sellers slide on this one. If they can't show you at least one photo with some clear details on the item's condition, stay away.

Check the feedback!
This seems obvious, but it seems that many people I talk to after getting screwed didn't pay attention to the seller's feedback rating or read the buyer comments. If you notice bad trends in the comments (slow shipping, misrepresented items, etc.), maybe you should think a bit before buying. I tend to be very picky about a seller's rating, and will not purchase from someone with less than a 99% positive rating. If it's below this, I want to know why. You might think 99% is too picky, but I'll say it again: I've never been ripped off.

What's the shipping cost?
I know a guy who was once charged $30 shipping on small action figure. He refused to pay which resulted in negative feedback for both parties, and a string of unpleasant e-mails. This was a couple years ago. Now, Ebay listings are much clearer on shipping charges, typically displaying the shipping under the current bid. However, there are always sellers who try to be sneaky. If you don't see a shipping charge, send the seller an e-mail. If you get no response, move on.

Knowing the shipping is particularly important when buying items from foreign countries. I know a woman who bought a piece of jewelry from France. Because she couldn't understand the seller's instructions (a mixture of French and English—Franglish), she sent $2.50 to cover the shipping. I think $2.50 means the seller gave it to somebody who may or may not be coming to the U.S. in the next six months. Needless to say, she didn't receive the item.

Read the description!
Again, you'd think this would be obvious, but I know of many misunderstandings that are probably the result of just looking at the photo. I collect 1:6 scale toys and figures. I don't know how many comments I've seen from unhappy buyers who thought they were purchasing life-size guns or hand grenades. There are people who think you can buy a real, military-style tactical shotgun for $5.00. These people are among us. Don't be one of them. Don't live next to them either.

Also, I've noticed a recent trend of sellers offering the empty box that once contained an expensive item or collectible. The seller will say this in the listing's description, but I always think they're counting on a seller who isn't paying attention. This happened quite a few times when the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 consoles were released. The boxes for both showed up on Ebay, and people bid on them. I suppose it's possible that someone may own the collectible but lost the box, but I can't help but think the bidders just didn't completely read the description.

Ebay can be a lot of fun; it's a giant online shopping mall/flea market/garage sale. However, you always have to be on the lookout for a potential scam, and, as the buyer, you need to put some effort into avoiding getting scammed. Hopefully these tips will help you have an enjoyable Ebay experience.

Review: Brita Water Pitcher

2009-05-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

OK, this is not the sort of product I ever thought I'd review on my blog, but…

…I love this thing!

I grew up in the country, and the water we drank came from a well. The water tasted great, which is to say that it tasted like nothing—exactly the way water should taste.

When I moved away from home and relocated in a nearby city, I was surprised by the taste of the water. I detected a hint of Cherry Coke with perhaps a few drops of mouthwash. I was not pleased. I bought water for years which is annoying and can get expensive. As I've gotten older, I've become a "power" water drinker. It's become my beverage of choice and I can go through a lot in a day.

Then I read about Brita's Water Pitchers. I knew of Brita's other water purifiers that attach to the faucet, but I didn't really want one of those. They look like something from a science fiction movie. I decided to give the Brita Slim Pitcher ($16) a chance. It holds 40 fluid ounces, and the operation is very simple. You pour the water into the reservoir which then passes through the cylindrical filter into the pitcher. That's it. You're ready to go!

The best part: It really works. My water tastes much better, like the water I drank as a kid, and I'm going through nearly two full pitchers a day.

A filter lasts for two months before you need to replace it. New filters cost around $8, and you can buy three-packs for around $18. Having to replace the filter may sound like a hassle, but it's very easy. Just soak the filter for 15 minutes, fill the pitcher twice (discarding the water), then fill it up and put it in the refrigerator. I estimate that in the two months I get from a filter, I'm saving at least $30 in buying bottled water—even when purchased by the gallon, which is usually cheaper.

Tired of water in the bottle, but still need a good, clean H₂0 fix? Check out a Brita pitcher. They come in a variety of styles and sizes, and they really work.

WritinMan says: A

Ultimate Hulk Vs. Wolverine Returns!

2009-05-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

So, it was back in 2006 when I picked up the first two issues of this mini-series after the enthusiastic recommendation of G4's comic guru Blair Butler. The six-issue story is a re-imagining of Wolverine's first story arc in The Incredible Hulk #180-182, set in Marvel's Ultimate universe. The first two issues were great reads with very stylish art, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Even my Mom enjoyed them.

But after two issues…nothing. Damn you, Blair!

I don't think anyone is entirely sure what caused a three-year delay, and maybe Marvel doesn't really want anyone to know. But, whatever the reason, the series picked up again last March with the publication of issue #3. Since then, issue #4 has also come out, and I'm glad to say that the series is still a lot of fun. I was concerned that all momentum would be lost, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm looking forward to the end of the series which should wrap up in May.

It's reminded me of how much fun comics can be.

Now THIS is a Wolverine Fan!

2009-05-06T16:14:00.001-07:00

There are fanboys, and then there are real fanboys. Some people make lame costumes. Others, go that extra mile.

Actually, these claws are pretty cool. I'd like to play around with them for awhile. Yeah, I'll admit it.

I'll bet he needs to replace everything in his house by the end of the week.

Stairs & Handrails

2009-04-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

This apparently (allegedly?) is a training video used by the Los Alamos National Laboratory. As a part of my career, I've seen many training courses and videos, but this has to be the strangest. I mean, it's for Los Alamos. I could understand if this had been made for Southern Cal's football team or employees at FOX News, but...Los Alamos?

Los Alamos. This is the type of thing that can keep you up at night.

Damn.

Kind of a catchy song though.

The Simple Joys of Discovering Something New, Part 2

2009-04-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where I first heard this song—Better Way by Ben Harper—but I immediately had to track it down. I know nothing of Ben Harper or his intention in writing this song, but I find this song incredibly hopeful in a time when we really need some hope. Hope in a time of relentless bad news about the economy; hope after eight years of a government administration that did horrible, horrible things.

I would like to think there is a better way. We'll see.

Better Way by Ben Harper

(Sorry, I can't embed this.)

From the Department of "What the #@%$...?"

2009-04-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

It appears that Russian surgeons have removed a living, growing fir tree from a man's lung. It was 5cm long. Don't believe me? Google it. You'll see. But here's an example:

Tree grows inside man's lung

Now, I just have one question. What does President Obama plan to do about the Russians' clear lead in tree-lung technology?

Art: Magic Bag

2009-04-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

While cleaning the other day, I found the dice bag I used during years of gaming when I was a teenager. I hadn't seen it in a very long time. Too long. I played a variety of games, but mostly Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, that's right. I was one of them. Still consider myself one of them, although I don't play anymore.

I like seeing them spread out like this. Reminds me of gems. The light blue dice on the books were the first set of gaming dice I owned, and were always my favorites. Slayed a lot of monsters with those. They look worn out, but I think they still have some kills left in them.

Maybe I shouldn't retire them just yet... .

Click the thumbnail to make your saving throw against a magic attack...and to view the larger version.

Magic Bag

1/6: The Punisher Gets Some New Duds

2009-03-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Duds? What is this, 1950?

OK, I just can't seem to stop messing with my Punisher figure. Interesting, considering that this is a project I nearly abandoned.

Anyway, I was digging through the Big Box O' Extra Crap™, when I found this black turtle neck sweater. I have no idea when I bought it, but there it was. Then I pulled out the vest from a BBI Bruno French Foreign Legion figure. The vest was camouflage. I painted it black, added the white skull, and finished it off with some blood and strategic weathering. The result? A figure that's quite a bit closer to the version from the recent movie. He still has the hooded sweatshirt. It's just hanging under the leather coat now.

I have to say that taking a picture of the new vest also gave me a pretty nice close-up of the head sculpt. Better than my first pictures, I think.

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

The Punisher Gets Some New Duds
(Seriously, duds? What is this, the old west?)

A Dog's Tale...uh, Tail

2009-03-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today, I read an article on Discovery.com that a team of veterinarians have completed a study on why dogs chase their tails. They apparently have linked this trait with having high cholesterol. They also found that it can be common after a dog experiences a traumatic event.

I can understand the post-traumatic stress tail-chasing—a dog gets a little jumpy and nervous and takes it out on his tail. Who hasn't done that?

But...high cholesterol? Really? How many tax dollars went to this study? Well, let me demonstrate how I could have saved them some money.

Dogs—while cute, loyal, and playful—aren't that bright. As a result, they frequently forget they have a long hairy object attached to their own ass. And, being dogs, they attack it.

There you go; money that could have been better spent fixing roads.

Grab Your Gun and Bring in the Cat

2009-03-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Arrrrgh, there be spoilers ahead!

Well, it's been a little over 12 hours since the end of the Battlestar Galactica finale, and, after taking some time to think about it, I have to say that was some damn entertaining TV. Most finales fail horribly, but this went out very well. On a positive note even. Was everything answered? No, but that's OK. Nothing wrong with working some things out for ourselves. And, odds are, we'd be unhappy if we did get clear answers for everything. That's the way of the die-hard fan—we're never really happy. Did I cry? Like I'm gonna frakkin' tell you.

A few thoughts from an unapologetic BSG fanboy:

The battle was fantastic, and we were long overdue for one of BSG's trademark space battles.

It was cool to see the old cylons fighting with the new ones.

Baltar is still six kinds of awesome.

It was good to see Boomer redeem herself—I predicted it!—and good to see Athena was still pissed at her.

Eveeryone's second favorite ship (after the Galactica) affectionately know as "circle ship" made it all the way to the end. Yay!

The frequently overlooked Racetrack lived long enough to pull the trigger on the nukes and pretty much save the day. She spent most of the show in Starbuck's shadow, trying too hard and making too many mistakes. Good to see her go out with guns (missiles?) blazing.

Roslin dying was very sad, but not unexpected. Her connection with Hera was only prolonging the inevitable. I picture Adama spending the rest of his life on that hill talking to her. If that's what he wants, let him. He's earned it.

Everyone going their separate ways—which at first glance was a bit strange—ultimately rings true to me. They've all been trapped on those stinking (literally) ships for a couple years. Many of them are probably tired of seeing some of the others. Time to spread out and explore. Human nature.

And to anyone thinking they should have kept their technology to "help" the human race should remember that trying to play God, messing with technology, and trying to change the evolutionary path is pretty much what caused all the problems in the first place.

It was good to see the Chief kill Tory. I remember his fantastic scene in Season 3, where he blows a gasket and goes on about how different their lives are now and how they had to settle for lesser things, like he settled for Cally. I thought that was so sad. He still loved her though. I think Aaron Douglas is the most underrated actor on the show.

I'm still not clear on Hera's purpose. Being labeled as the "mitochondrial Eve" doesn't make a lot of sense as there were already people on Earth when Galactica arrived. And the survivors would also help to poplulate the planet. Ultimately it's just probably for the best that they made the decision to rescue her. Who knows what Cavil might have done with the information he got from her, and I didn't think that Adama would let the Cylons experiment on her. It's not his way.

What was Starbuck? I really don't think she was an angel. I do think she was sent back to finish her job, perhaps to make up for being so hot-headed, making so many poor decisions, and bordering on being an alcoholic screw-up—all factors that led to her dying in the first place. When she came back, she seemed less of a loose cannon—very confused, though—but not the same person. Like someone on a mission, even though she didn't know what the mission was.

Overall, good stuff. I will miss the show, but as long as it's on DVD it never really ends does it? So grab your gun and bring in the cat because you can go back and watch it anytime.

New meaning to "All this has happened before, and will happen again."

Sy...Fy?

2009-03-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

So, I read earlier today that the Sci Fi Channel is changing it's name to SyFy. Apparently the execs over at NBC/Universal (which owns the channel) have learned that "trendy" 20- and 30-somethings refer to the channel as SyFy when text messaging each other. I'm fairly certain someone is lying to them.

The plan is that this move will make the channel less "geeky." Have they never watched the shows on the Sci Fi channel? It's a geek channel. The name won't change that. And as a geek, I'm a little offended by this. The science fiction and fantasy genres exist because of geeks. Don't piss us off. Also, I'm a little concerned that this is another example of dumbing down language because of trends we see in text messaging, e-mails, and online chatting. Perhaps we could just use that alien emoticon for the name of the channel.

And let's be honest. After the BSG finale this Friday, Sci Fi is going to have a hard time paying the rent and keeping the lights on. They'll need more than their vast—and I do mean vast—library of movies with CGI lizards, snakes, and spiders. No amount of movies featuring Lance Henriksen fighting bigfoot/sasquatch/yeti-like creatures will save them.

They could have invested some money to keep Firefly on the air when they had the chance, but didn't. They could have put more effort into supporting The Dresden Files, but they didn't. Instead, they chose to purchase the broadcast right to Uwe Boll's movies.

Brilliant.

In a few years SyFy will be another version of Spike—or maybe Spyke. And all this is ultimately the brainchild of the network that thinks ER should still be on the air.

All joking aside, I think the Sci Fi Channel/SyFy will change and be radically different. Trying to appear trendy by catering to young, hip demographics like this kills channels. It's what created Spike. For those who don't remember, Spike was once The Nashville Network which aired country music videos. This mentality also killed A&E, The Learning Channel, TechTV, and changed American Movie Classics (AMC) to the All Movie Channel. AMC's motto should now be: "All movies all the time—they don't have to be classic, or, you know, good."

What will the geeks do then? This geek says, "Thank God for NetFlix."

1/6: The Huntress...Revisited

2009-03-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

Wow—can it be nearly fours years ago that I created the first version of this character? Hard to believe. The motivation behind this was to create a bizarre, post-apocalyptic style character. This was the result. I have to admit, there is something creepy about this figure that I have a hard putting my finger on. This also seems to be the general consensus among those who see it.

Well, it was time for an upgrade—thus the "revisited" in the title. I have not posted the original version of this, but I will include a photo below. The most notable difference in the new version is a Mezco King Kong as the mount. I also added several pieces of new equipment, and created a base/stand for the figure. I also made the leather harness, saddle/sling, and the mancatcher/net. The figure still has a 21st C body and received head-, hand-, and leg-ectomies (I replaced them).

Every now and then, I like to create a figure that makes people say "What the?!?" I think this new version has 47% more "What the?!?"

I'm not 100% happy with these pics, but they're OK for now. Unfortunately, this is a little too big for my light box.

Click the thumbnails for more "What the?!?"

The Huntress…Revisited

The original…

The update…

Art: How a CD Works

2009-03-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, now this is a blast from the past. I've been doing some serious cleaning lately, and while looking at some old floppy disks—yeah, that's right, floppy disks—I found this old technical illustration I did for my last employer. It's close to 13 years old, and was printed in a company newsletter that went out to our clients. Unfortunately, this is the only version of it that still exists.

You have to bear in mind that, at the time, CDs weren't really that common place yet. They were still considered expensive technology. Now, CDs are fading away, replaced by flash drives and DVDs.

Anyway, I was pretty proud of this. So, if you've ever wondered how a CD works, take a look. (I think DVDs work the same way, just...better.)

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

How a CD Works

Movies: The Expendables

2009-03-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it appears that Sylvester Stallone has decided that his career should go out with a bang. Trying to make us all forget past classics such as Rhinestone, Over the Top, and Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot, Stallone gave us 2008's surprisingly good—and surprisingly bloody—Rambo. Continuing his recent return to action, he's writing, directing, and starring in the upcoming The Expendables. However, this time he's bringing along some help. Take a look at this cast:

Sylvester Stallone
Jason Statham
Mickey Rourke
Eric Roberts
Jet Li
Forest Whitaker
Dolph Lundgren
Danny Trejo
Randy Couture
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin
And a cameo by Arnold Schwarzenegger

But where the %$@# is Chuck Norris?

Anyway, here's the description from IMDb: A team of mercenaries head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator. This sounds like six kinds of kick ass, and it will have to be rated "T" because of more testosterone than is legally allowed by the Motion Picture Association of America.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be kicking his own ass for turning down a role in this.

I have to say though, it is kind of sad that we still need our 80s action stars to continue the genre. None of our current actors seem to want to step up and take charge. I still don't smell what The Rock is cookin'. Matt Damon was great in the Bourne movies, but he doesn't want to be an action star. And Nicolas Cage? Well, he's pretty much a total failure. Have you seen Next? Or Ghost Rider? Or...oh, never mind. Christian Bale seems to want it, but is it just a phase or does he really want to be the man? Time will tell, I guess.

In the meantime, Stallone—who will be 64 when this movie is released next year—is going to give us this action epic. I'm already looking forward to it.

But seriously, where the %$@# is Chuck Norris?

The Folding Spork!

2009-03-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

You know, it's kinda nice to know that products like this are still being developed while the world economy crashes and burns like Nicolas Cage's career.

Remember back when you bought your lunch in elementary or high school? You know: slimy chicken, spaghetti with no flavor, canned Korean-war era fruit. Good times. No matter what was on the menu for the day, the utensil of choice was…the spork! It was the awkward love child of the soup spoon and the dessert fork. They all looked the same: white plastic, with a few rounded teeth on the front. It couldn't really hold any liquids or solid foods, but it was fantastic for launching green peas at girls. Again, good times.

Unfortunately, you always felt like a dork using one; like a special needs kid. Try to impress a cheerleader while you're dribbling soup all over yourself.

Well, feel like a dork no longer!

TAD Gear Inc. has given us the folding titanium spork. That's right—you can take your spork with you, and don't have to worry about bending it.

For those who don't know, titanium is considered a space-age metal being used in fighter planes, armored vehicles, spacecraft, replacement joints, and now…sporks. This is, of course, the natural progression for such a material. Stainless steel is for pansies.

But it's not just a spork, it also comes with a fold-out can opener. This makes it the ideal item to have when cornered by a gang of canned peaches in heavy syrup. Remember kids, always be prepared.

If there was ever a perfect product made for the classic line from Blazing Saddles ("Excuse me while I whip this out!"), this is it.

Get yours today for only $33.95! Hey, titanium ain't cheap.

The Folding Spork

Movies: This Just in...Hollywood Still Clueless

2009-02-21T11:01:00.000-08:00

You'd think Hollywood would wise up eventually, right? RIGHT?

According to an article on the Live Feed blog, Universal Studios is planning a big screen version of Battlestar Galactica. OK, that sounds good so far. However, this movie will have nothing to do with the Peabody Award-winning TV series.

No. Because that would make sense.

Instead of calling on Ronald Moore who re-imagined the campy 70s show into the tasty sci-fi goodness it is now, Universal is turning to original series creator Glen A. Larson to write and produce the movie. Larson, it seems, would like to see a return to the campy, "fun" ideas of the original.

While the show will supposedly have the regular characters (Adama, Baltar, etc.) no one knows if it will be a continuation of the original or a reboot. That's what we really need—a third version of the show.

For those who don't remember Larson also gave us such TV classics as Knight Rider, BJ and the Bear, Sheriff Lobo, and—wait for it—Manimal!

What a horrible idea. This movie will crash and burn in a bad way.

MANIMAL!

Sony's New Stupid Piece of...

2009-02-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

This great video is produced by The Onion. As with most things they come up with, it's great satire—skewering both the companies that keep making poorly tested, unnecessary electronic crap and the people who keep buying that crap. Wait...am I one of those people? No... .

Unfortunately, this would have been a lot funnier a year ago when people were still spending money and the economy wasn't pulling a Hindenburg.

NOTE: The audio here is definitely not safe for work. It might not be safe for home depending on who's there.

Sony's New Stupid Piece of....

Movies: Missed Opportunities

2009-02-19T17:26:00.000-08:00

Max Payne

"Say hello to your mother for me."

I recently re-watched Max Payne, and was reminded of what a shocking missed opportunity this was. Yeah, that's right. I said "re-watched." Voluntarily.

Max Payne truly should have and could have been a better movie.

I had no problem with Mark Wahlberg as the title character, although Michael Madsen would have been better. (Actually, the perfect Max Payne would have been a younger, in-his-prime Bruce Campbell.) And I liked Mila Kunis as Mona Sax. I thought she did a very good job. But, seriously, Ludacris? Do we ever need to see Ludacris in a movie? The answer is Hell to the no.

One of the problems with video game movies is that if you follow the plot too closely, fans of the game will know what's going to happen and not be happy. If you try to make something more original, fans will be pissed because the movie is nothing like the game. It's a no win situation.

But this really should have been more like the game. They took an action game and watered it down with drama elements, making a straight-forward plot unnecessarily convoluted in the process. The game is pretty much one long shooting fest. There's nothing wrong with making a similar movie. Max Payne wasn't going to win an Academy Award anyway, so let those bullets fly.

What they should have done…
More freakin' action!. R-rated action, not PG-13. Action using the great bullet time effect. Yes, people who don't know much about the game would declare: "Hey, that looks like The Matrix!" Yes it would have, but it's also an integral part of the game. It should have been a big part of the movie.

More set pieces from the game were also clearly needed. Some were used briefly, others are just seen in the background before the camera moves on. Honestly, a Max Payne movie without significant time given to the parking garage, the rundown Mafia hotel, the Russian cargo boat, and the Ragnarok nightclub is pretty lame. Yes, the Ragnarok is in the movie, but just for a few minutes, and is largely wasted.

Punisher: War Zone

"Would you like the grenade shoved down your throat or up your ass?"

This is definitely another movie that should have and could have been better. I did enjoy it—kind of. You know, in a way. I like The Punisher. He's Marvel's Batman except he kills people. Kills people until they die from it.

Ray Stevenson did a great a job as Frank Castle/The Punisher. Far better than Dolph Lundgren or Thomas Jane of the previous movie versions. (I'm pretty sure my Mom can kick Thomas Jane's ass.) Stevenson really is the highlight of the movie. This rest of the cast…not so much—some seriously bad acting here. One of the biggest culprits is Dash Mihok as Detective Soap. Never heard of Mihok? There's a reason why. However, I did like seeing Seinfeld's Wayne Knight as Micro, The Punisher's gadget guy.

The main problem with the movie is the villain: Jigsaw. Jigsaw very badly wants to be Ledger's Joker from The Dark Knight. He is not. Not by a long shot. The villain here should have just been the Mafia. You'd have a lot to work with. No need to go with the outrageous, over-the-top bad guy. A Punisher movie should be grounded in reality. Jigsaw ruins this.

This movie is clearly inspired by Garth Ennis' work on the fantastic Punisher MAX comics, complete with the extreme violence. However, nothing worthwhile is actually done with that inspiration, particularly the writing and dialogue. Some characters from the comics make brief and wasted appearances, pretty much guaranteeing that we won't seem them in any sequels. If there are any; I won't hold my breath.

What they should have done…
If the producers were serious, they should have adapted four or so of the Punisher MAX story lines—maybe even hiring Ennis to adapt his own work—filmed them back-to-back to keep the cost down, hired some better actors, and used a more experienced action director to head the project (if you say John Woo, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts). So which MAX books should be adapted? Good question. I'd go with:

In the Beginning
Mother Russia
The Slavers
Man of Stone (perhaps combined with parts of Up is Down, Black is White)
Valley Forge, Valley Forge might be a cool way to wrap up the series

Could be a great movie series with sequels actually building on the previous entries.

But what the @#!$ do I know? I'm just a guy from Michigan.

WritinMan says:
Max Payne: C-
Punisher: War Zone: C-

1/6: Review -- F4 Toys Skull Balaclavas

2009-02-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ah, the latest trend in 1/6 accessories: the skull balaclava. This 3-pack comes from F4 Toys. I must admit that I know nothing of this company. I don't even know if this is their first 1/6 offering... .

First, let's look at the hoods themselves. The material is thin but not flimsy. And the stitching seems tight, but time will tell. They have a pretty tight fit. For one of them I had to break the stitching along the bottom opening to get it over the head. All of them seem to have a peak at the top of the head (see 2nd pic below) I couldn't quite get rid of. Maybe with a little more work I could fix it. However, this is a bit of an annoyance, and could look strange if your figure isn't wearing a hat or a helmet.

Now for the skull patterns. You get three different skulls, although two look so similar I thought I had been sent two of the same hood. The third has a Punisher-style skull. This one went to my Punisher figure (see below). The decals appear to be pretty thin giving them a light gray color instead of a bright white. You can see the difference in the Punisher photo when you compare the balaclava with the skull I painted on the sweatshirt. This gives the skull decals a worn, faded look that I kind of like. You might be looking for something brighter. Also, because the decals are thin, they may peel or flake easily over time. It's probably best to pick a figure, put the hood on and leave it be. The constant fiddling common to our hobby will likely only cause trouble.

"Just walk away," as The Humungus would say. (+10 geek points if you can name the movie.)

Overall, for $7.95, I like these, and I'm happy with the purchase.

WritinMan says: B

Yes, I know how strange this photo looks.

Movies: Inglorious Basterds Trailer

2009-02-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

And with this post, I start a new category in my blog for movies. I love movies watch a lot of them, possibly more than anyone else I know, and dammit, I should talk about them more! And, yes, I know "Basterds" is spelled wrong.

So, Quentin Tarantino finally stopped talking about this and decided to make it. I've watched this twice now, and I honestly don't know what to make of it. My first impression? It looks, uh...not good. However, this can't be worse than his last movie: Death Proof. I am not exaggerating when I say DP is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The Q seems to be taking an interesting path with is career: deliberately making schlocky B movies, except with enough budget to make 3 or 4 traditional B movies. Very strange.

That being said, if it involves a lot of Nazi ass-whupping, I can get behind it.

Inglorious Basterds

Iran!

2009-02-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

I checked the hits on my Feedjit Live Traffic Map today and discovered that I had a hit from Iran. This fascinates me to no end. Someone from Iran looked at a page on my blog. Much like the Big Bang Theory (first there was nothing; then it exploded), no matter how much I think about it, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.

Someone from Iran visited my blog. Amazing... .

The Interweb is a strange and wondrous place, and one the most impressive creations of the last century. However, I think we take it for granted sometimes as we become more and more accustomed to it. Yet we have hardly scratched the surface of how it can be used to make life easier, communicate with others, and bring the world closer together.

It also has a lot of porn.

Billy Mays on the Run

2009-01-30T10:37:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have seen TV salesman Billy Mays doing commercials for ESPN360.com. They're pretty funny, but I thought this one was fantastic.

Giving some extra attention to TV commercials is not something I really want to do with my blog, but I've never seen this commercial on in my area. YouTube comes to the rescue.

Vince from Shamwow would probably kill to be in a commercial like this.

Literally.

Kill someone. With that little chopper thing he also sells.

Zombie Attack in Texas!

2009-01-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

Not really. But it was a pretty good prank.

Unfortunately, when zombies really do attack—and it's just a matter of time until they do—we'll think it's just a joke now.

The story:

Zombie Attack!

1/6: The Punisher's War Room

2009-01-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

Let me describe my process for working on pretty much any project.

First, I think about it for eight, maybe nine months. Then, if I think I might want to work on it (notice I said might), I start taking some notes and maybe make a few sketches. But usually I jut keep the entire idea in my head. This allows me to forget things and make several mistakes later.

If I need parts, arts & crafts materials, etc., it could easily take one to two more months to gather these items. It's important not to rush this step.

Now, here's the crucial part: I talk myself into doing the project. It goes something like this:

"OK, I should do this."

"Don't really want to."

"Come on, it'll be great."

"But there's a good movie starting."

"You've seen it 17 times."

"I said it's a good movie."

"Seriously, this will be cool. You'll see."

"…Oh, #$%& it. Let's do it."

This is how I've completed approximately 90% of my projects over the last 20 years. It's amazing I can even dress myself each morning.

That's pretty much how this project went—the final step in my Punisher project. I almost abandoned this, but I kept thinking and thinking and…thinking about it. Finally, I just sat down and started and, well, here it is. I'm glad I didn't abandon the idea as I really like how it came out. The original plan was to make something much larger, maybe two feet long with two weapons racks, a locker, a punching bag, a small kitchen with hot plate, ammo boxes, a cot, a few tables, and even a garage area with a motorcycle. It just became too much though, so I scaled it back to this mini-dio.

I used my photo printer to print all the items you see on the walls. A few came from Jim's Dollhouse Page. Most came from Google searches.

This has become a pretty popular dio over at OSW. Some members have told me I've inspired them to do some similar things with their figures. Always nice to know your work can inspire and motivate fellow collectors.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

The Punisher's War Room

Ice, Ice Dammit!

2009-01-25T11:31:00.000-08:00

Ah, winter in Michigan—you never know what you're going to get. Some people would call that exciting. Those people are dumb.

Winter here means the temperature can drop 30 to 40 degrees in a day. Don't laugh. it happens. A forecast of snow could mean anywhere from 1 inch to 3 feet. It all really depends on how the wind blows across Lake Michigan. And do we ever really know which way the wind blows? Do we? How should I know.

Michigan, by the bye, is an old, revered Native American word meaning "screwed." True story.*

So anyway...it's been bitter cold here, and that means monster icicles indicating how poorly buildings are insulated. Seriously, these things are dangerous. The photos below are from my apartment building, but many buildings in my area have these.

Nothing like living in fear just because you want to go outside and buy some milk. It's exciting.

Click the thumbnails for larger versions.

From the front of the building...

From my balcony...

*Not really.

Not 1/6: Star Wars Cantina

2009-01-15T13:52:00.000-08:00

I've had this for awhile now—one of my bigger collecting projects. I collected the figures for this for nearly two years, and had a lot fun searching for them all. My Star Wars geekdom knows no bounds!

Every now and then a new cantina figure comes out, so I try to keep an eye out for them. The two figures on the ends are the most recent additions. And I do consider the Dewback on the left side to be part of the overall diorama.

Yes, you can see some dust—the bane of all collectors. But hey, you know the cantina wasn't clean so why should the dio be any different?

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Star Wars Cantina

Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe

2008-12-23T08:58:00.000-08:00

As Christmas draws near, I thought I'd share my favorite fruit cake recipe (which is kind of like picking your favorite way to get hit in the head with a 2x4).

For the record, I'm not saying I've ever actually used this recipe; it's just my favorite.

Enjoy!

1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 full bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take out a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the burner. If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway???

1/6: Projects Left by the Side of the Road

2008-12-20T19:08:00.000-08:00

I don't how long I've collected 1/6 scale figures. Maybe since 1998. I'm not really sure when I discovered that first figure in my local Toys 'R Us. Well, however long it's been, my interest in it is waning. I just don't have the motivation for all of the work involved in creating a custom or kitbashed figure. But let me be perfectly clear. I have no intention of getting rid of my collection. I love the figures I have.

Earlier this year, I had plans for four projects to wrap up my 1/6 collection: one major re-do of an existing figure, and three new figures. The Punisher was the first of the three new projects. I don't know if I can finish the other two. I hope to finish one of them, a boxed figure (my so-called "super figure"). I also hope to finish the re-do. It's very different from most other figures in my collection and will—hopefully—be pretty cool when I'm done.

So let's look at the projects that will be left by the side of the road, so to speak—unfinished or not even started.

The Blues Brothers, Bluesmobile, and The Mystery Woman

This is one of those dream projects. Everyone in this hobby has them. I wanted to make Jake, Elwood, and the Bluesmobile (perhaps out of a suitable remote control car) complete with the giant speaker tied to the roof. The black suits from Sideshow Collectibles' Reservoir Dogs line would be perfect for this , but I know I'll never make these figures. The problem? The headsculpts. I could have them commissioned, but that's just not something I'm going to do. I also thought it would have been cool to make Carrie Fisher's character, The Mystery Woman. Again, Sideshow Collectibles comes to the rescue with their Star Wars line, but it would be a pain in the ass removing the sculpted hair. Not gonna happen.

Patience is a Virtue series
I planned a series of three sniper figures. I only finished one, my U.S. Marine Sniper figure. Another was going to be set in World War II, and I never decided on the third. I'm not sure why I never finished, but I have no plans on returning to this idea.

Goliath IV

This was one of my more ambitious ideas, and I actually started this sci-fi project in 2006. I got further than the photo above shows, but after a great start, I set it aside and never returned to it. It was supposed to be a part of a three figure diorama. I will tear this apart and save some of the better pieces—but for what, I don't know.

Sith Lord Leia
An alternate timeline Star Wars project inspired by the great moment in Return of the Jedi when Vader realizes he has a daughter. What if Luke had not survived the fight with Vader, and the Rebel attack on the 2nd Death Star failed? What if Vader had been able to turn Leia and defeat the Emperor?

Well, Leia never would have turned to the Dark Side, but it's an interesting idea.

The Messed-Up Fairy Tale series
The first was Little Miss Muffet, then…nothing. I'm not entirely sure how far I was planning to go with this series, but Little Red Riding Hood was up next. I had no firm plans for the figure, but I liked the idea of a gun-toting Red complete with a basket of explosives.

Monster Hunters, Inc. HQ
I've always liked dioramas, and this would have been the ultimate. I planned to build it into the corner of my apartment, three levels tall and fully equipped: armory, strategy room, training center, even a kitchen. It could have been glorious.

And very expensive.

The Duellist, versions 3 and 4
Yeah, that's right, versions 3 and 4. I haven't even posted the first two versions here on my blog. I had planned to make two more versions of what might be my favorite of the characters I've created. Commissions would be needed, and I'd have to track down two more of the BBI's Asian Perfect Body figure to use as the base. The bottom line: too much money.

Armageddon Jesus
Yup—a gun-totin' Jesus come back to kick evil's ass and save the world.

Probably self-explanatory why I didn’t make this. I'm crazy, but I'm not insane.

Projects Still on the Drawing Board. Maybe. Possibly. I Don't Know.
There are a few projects I hesitate to completely write off. A good example of "Never say never." Maybe someday….

Sadako

Ah, this has been lingering in the back of my mind for a long time.

The plans for this also involved a diorama (seriously, what is it with me and dioramas?) complete with a well built onto a raised base allowing the figure to be placed in the well as if climbing out. I have to admit that I forgot about this project for a couple years until I found the following head for sale at an online store.

I mean, come on, what else are you going to do with something like this?

As creepy as it would be to actually have a figure like this in my apartment, part of me want really wants to make it. Maybe it's the challenge.

But If I don't get this going by next Halloween, I think I can scratch it off the list.

The Weird Wild West series
I made one figure in this series (I've yet to post the figure here, but will sometime—I need to take some better photos) then never returned to this idea. It's possible I might make one more (out of a planned five).

Holy Crap—I Want One of These!

2008-12-10T21:51:00.000-08:00

Looks like something Batman would use.

FlashLauncher

Unfortunately, it appears you can't buy them in Michigan.

But you can in Indiana….

Boy Scout

2008-12-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

I was never a member of the Boy Scouts. That's probably a good thing. It wouldn't have ended well. Unless they have a badge for…I don't know…anarchy. Do they have a rank called Smart-Ass Scout? And don't get me started on their less-than-enthusiastic selling techniques when trying to raise money. That's another post for another time….

Anyway, I got the chance to be a Boy Scout today while shopping at a local grocery store. I don't know what the weather is like in your part of the world, but here we have snow and ice, making driving and walking interesting. As I walked to the store, I passed an elderly woman—every bit of 80—in the parking lot. I glanced at her, gave a quick smile, and continued on. But before I could get too far, she called out to me: "Can I walk with you?"

I looked around quickly, positive she was talking to someone else. I was the only one there.

"Absolutely," I said, holding my arm out.

We walked and talked our way to the store, and went our separate ways once inside. She was a very nice woman, and my inner Boy Scout was glad to help.

However…

The rest of me was thinking: Well, damn, that's just my luck isn't it?

The 80-year-old woman asked me for help. The cute little 30-something with the long brown hair I saw in the Produce section didn't need help crossing the slippery parking lot in those four-inch heels. No, that's not the way it works, is it?

That's probably not the Boy Scout-ly (Boy Scoutish? Boy Scoutistic?) way to think. I helped an elderly woman across an icy parking lot. I should just be happy with that.

And I am.

Really.

But, seriously, can't a guy catch a break? "Throw me a frickin' bone here," as Dr. Evil would say.

Damn.

The Simple Joys of Discovering Something New

2008-11-23T20:51:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy discovering new movies and books—not an easy task, as many of the best books and movies don't actually make the bestseller/top-grossing lists. The Internet has made the search easier. Instead of wandering the aisles of stores such as Barnes and Noble or Best Buy while scribbling notes on a piece of paper, I can now Google and bookmark while sitting comfortably at my desk.

In recent years, my interest in movies and books has pushed aside my interest in music. I have a large collection of CDs and cassette tapes (yeah, that's right—tapes). I can just hear some of you now: "Oh my God! He's so old!"

I have slowly been moving to the wonderful world of MP3s. I haven't purchased a CD in a long time and I'm a little out of touch, but I know things are happening in the music world beyond the crap we hear on the Top 40. A couple weeks ago I had one of those musical "simple joy" moments while watching a GM commercial. I swear, if GM made cars as well as they made commercials they wouldn't need bailing out right now.

Anyway, it was Google time, and my search pointed to a song called The Story by Brandi Carlile, a singer/songwriter who will likely never get the attention she deserves. A link to the official video for the song is below. I particularly like the song at the 2:54 mark when it sounds like she's going to blow out a vocal cord. I've read she also does some kick-ass covers of CCR's Fortunate Son and Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues. I'll have to track those down.

It's amazing what you can find in the entertainment world when you take a little time and do some digging. Be bold and try something new! You might be pleasantly surprised.

Brandi Carlile—The Story

1/6: Robert De Niro is...THE PUNISHER!

2008-11-03T12:40:00.000-08:00

After reading all of the Punisher MAX comics, I just had to make a Punisher figure. I was particularly inspired by some of the fantastic cover art.

It would take awhile to remember where all the pieces-parts came from, but here are a few highlights:

The overcoat is from a DID German figure, heavily weathered and roughed up.
The M60 is from a 21st C Vietnam figure, repainted.
Most of the pouches, belts, etc. are from the Soldier Story CIA SAD figure.

And, of course, the great head sculpt is from Red Planet Toys, painted by me—my second time painting a head sculpt. Looking back, there are some things I'd like to do differently, but, overall, I'm very pleased with how it came out. I had planned on taking "in progress" photos of painting the head, but after a marathon painting session, I was done after taking only two photos.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Robert De Niro is...THE PUNISHER!

Not 1/6: Kia Asamiya Catwoman

2008-10-30T22:00:00.000-07:00

Japanese toy maker Kia Asamiya produced a line of very cool Batman figures a few years ago. The figures—closer to mini-statues due to their limited poseability—were unusual in their design, and obviously anime-inspired. All of the figures were interesting, but I have only the Catwoman figure. I really like the pose and some of the fine detail, but it could have come with a small cat.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Kia Asamiya Catwoman

Ninja Cat!

2008-10-03T18:27:00.001-07:00

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Actually, this is a pretty cute cat.

Not 1/6: McFarlane's Morpheus (The Matrix)

2008-10-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

In theory, I should probably own all of the figures based on the The Matrix movies, but, in reality, I only have this one. Why? Because it's so unusual. Most action figures are in...well, action poses.

Not this one.

It features Morpheus sitting in the rather iconic—and beat-up—red leather chair. I really like the detail in this figure, and the phone accessory is a nice touch. It's all just so...cool. The samurai sword is from another Morpheus figure, which I don't have.

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

Morpheus

Art: Tiger in the Grass

2008-09-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Ah, she was a good ol' cat. Typically, she wanted nothing to do with my camera. She hated the sound it made; hated the whine of the flash.

But on this day she decided to pose for me, and seemed almost disappointed when I ran out of film.

This is how I like to remember her.

I took this photo around 15 years ago—with a real camera, the old-fashioned way; no digital camera here. A couple years ago I scanned it and cleaned it up a bit. It's the best photo I've ever taken. I doubt I'll ever top it.

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

Tiger in the Grass

1/6: Messin' with the Dr. Figure Navy Seal in Baghdad

2008-09-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

So, I've had this figure for quite awhile, stored in it's original box. I've wanted to improve since I got it, but just haven't had the time. Well, after a recent holiday weekend, I opened it up and got to work.

For the most part, this is a really nice figure. Sure there are some cheap accessories. I was surprised to see that it came with only half of a shemagh. The Brad Pitt head sculpt is unusual—a bit stylish, cartoonish--but still pretty cool. Overall, I do like it, but that wouldn't stop me from messing with it.

The changes:

A much nicer pair of pants (Toy Soldier, I think. I'm not sure.)
Backpack (Not sure where this came from, but it's very nice. It actually holds all the rest of his equipment/clothing.)
Vest from the Hot Toys DEVGRU 2.0 figure.
Several 1/6 scale Iraq/Baghdad maps I printed.
Better knee pads (The figure only comes with one, and I didn't like it. I gave him two better ones.)
Replaced his assault rifle with a Red Horse AK-74.

I've also applied some minimal weathering. I may add some more later, but, for now, I like how the figure looks.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Messin' with the Dr. Figure Navy Seal in Baghdad

Listen to The Damon

2008-09-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always kinda like Matt Damon. He seems like a decent guy. He doesn't cause trouble. And after separating his career from Affleck's, he's made some pretty damn good movies. The Bourne flicks are some of my favorite action movies of all time.

Recently he's proven to be smarter than most celebrities when he shared his thoughts on Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. In an interview, Damon said:

"I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That's an important...I wanna know that. I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

He raises a very good point—one that concerns me as well. Considering McCain's age and health concerns, the thought that Palin could be the President of the United States is truly frightening. Hopefully, come November, many Americans will remember this when they vote.

Damn, John, did you even think about Condoleezza Rice? Maybe she wasn't interested....

You can see Damon's full comment using the link below. It's an entertaining rant.

Damon Condemns Palin

1/6: Things Are Not Always as They Seem

2008-08-21T16:46:00.000-07:00

I was moving some things around today, doing a little cleaning. On the floor, near a stack of 1/6 pieces-parts I had been looking at the night before, I spotted a tiny bit of green. I picked it up and rolled it between my fingers. It was soft and rubbery.

Stretchy….

What was it? A piece of fabric? A broken strap? A decal that had peeled off one of my figures? How long would it take me to track down the offending item so I could fix it?

Then it dawned on me: It was a piece of spinach. I had a spinach salad for lunch.

Nice to know.

It was a good salad, too.

Art: Time and the Elements...

2008-08-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Take their toll.

I took this photo a couple years ago. The tree in question has seen better days, but it keeps hanging in there.

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

Time and the Elements...

1/6: Tools of the Trade

2008-08-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

I received this handy item last Christmas to use on my 1/6 projects. It's called the "Helping Hands," and it's great for holding the small weapons and accessories that can cause the most patient of 1/6 enthusiasts to bang their heads against the wall.

Before this, as I had to awkwardly hold these items in my hands, it was only a matter of time before the hand cramps set in. But this was only one of my problems. I would accidentally paint my own hands, glue my fingers together, glue items to my fingers, and, when I was really on a roll, I would glue the piece to my glued-together, painted fingers.

This wonderful tool has eliminated some of those problems. Notice I said "some." That's the best I can hope for.

I took this picture of the ol' Helping Hands holding two current weapon projects I'm working on. I like this because it looks like a tiny, well-armed robot defending my work area. Makes me laugh, but sometimes I am easily amused.

Remember kids, the Helping Hands tool is your friend; carpal tunnel syndrome is not.

Click the thumbnail for the larger version.

Tools of the Trade

Seagalogy!

2008-08-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

Forget those criticism books on filmmakers such as Orson Welles, Martin Scorsese, or Stanley Kubrick. Here is the book for the real movie lovers out there:

Seagalogy

I seriously have to read this. If you're not sure based on the title alone, just read the editorial comments.

Pardon the Dust...

2008-07-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

You may notice changes to the blog. Don't mind me, but I'll be fiddling with the look of my blog over the next few weeks. Weeks? Yeah, don't rush me.

The title banner is the first major step. I like it. I thought about it for two months. Seriously, don't rush me. The blog template colors will be next. Maybe some changes to the menu down the side. I'm not 100% sure, but don't be surprised if you see various, and maybe constant, changes as you visit. However, none of this should stop the ol' Thingamajig from...jigging.

Huh?

You know what I mean....

It's Science...with Awesomesauce!

2008-07-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

I really liked all the science classes I had in high school and college. Not the lectures, of course—the experiments. Seriously, what teenager doesn't want to crank out some homemade rum? I'm not bragging, but I distilled some 180 proof rotgut. Yeah, that's right. There's your tax dollars at work.

If a Bunsen burner was involved, I was there. All these years later, I'm still fascinated by experiments and chemical reactions.

On a recent episode of Mythbusters, series host Adam Savage walked across "water." Well, in reality, it was a water and cornstarch mixture prepared by the other series host, Jamie Hyneman. In a nutshell, the mixture is capable of supporting weight while still maintaining the properties of a fluid.

Awesomesauce.

I was surprised to learn that this mixture has an official name: Oobleck. I have no idea where the name came from, but I like it. Try to work it into a conversation.

"So, this weekend I was throwing together some oobleck and...hey...hello?"

I was even more surprised to learn that you can make an oobleck mixture dance by pumping sound waves through it.

Even more awesomesauce.

Check out the video below. It's one of my favorites. I have got to try this. Right after that Diet Coke and Mentos thing.

Heh....

2008-07-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, FOX News sucks. There's really no other way to say it. Taking the time to craft a long, logical argument against them isn't necessary. They just...suck.

(Read it very carefully if you don't immediately see the problem.)

1/6: Cowgirls!

2008-07-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

In your fort, stealin' all your gold!

I put these figures together in 2005 or maybe 2004. Man, time flies. I was never too pleased with the original pics I took of these, so I thought I'd try again.

I made this wooden floor base for another figure that I have since abandoned, but I added some weathering, a few boxes, and some "gold" bars and thought it would go well with my cowgirls.

The pieces-parts are from many, many sources. More than I can remember.

I reckon you oughta click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Cowgirls!

What the...?!?

2008-07-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

There's a story behind this photo, and I'd pay upwards of eight or nine bucks to find out what it is.

What the...?!?

This looks like the ideal subject of a caption contest. My vote:

"Captain! Come quick, we've found the desert!"

The Road…to Really Bad Writing

2008-07-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

This rant is brought to you by the apostrophe. The apostrophe: Creating
contractions and indicating possessive tense for several hundred years.

So, I finished Cormac McCarthy's The Road the other day—only because it was it was free. I borrowed it from my company's "community library." Many of the employees, including myself, have donated books to it. Anyway, I have heard so much about it—including the upcoming film starring Viggo Mortensen—that I thought I'd give it a try. I've tried McCarthy in the past; most notably Blood Meridian. Twice. I can't get more than a quarter through it.

See, here's the problem: McCarthy is a horrible writer. I cannot understand why he is so respected, why The Road was awarded the Pulitzer Prize, or why Opie selected it to her book club. But it's not just The Road. All his books are written in the same thumbing-his-nose-at-all-known-rules-of-grammar-and-good-writing style*. He writes as if he almost has a complete disdain for grammar, and his readers for that matter. The man never met a sentence fragment or a run-on sentence he didn't like—he's an equal opportunity offender. Apostrophes are apparently the work of the Devil. And quotation marks used in dialog? Forget about it. I won’t even get into the repetition, use of either unnecessary 50-cent words, or words I think he just makes up to fit the situation. For the love of crumb cake, will someone please send him a copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style?

Let's look at a brief passage from The Road. This comes early in the book, and marks the point where I almost stopped reading. The first few sentences help set the scene, but it’s the last sentence that gets me.

It's snowing, the boy said. He looked at the sky. A single gray flake sifting down. He caught it in his hand and watched it expire there like the last host of christendom.

Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure this is the very definition of pretentious writing. I can’t help but imagine a man who is very, very happy with himself. Unfortunately, I'm in a minority here. Most critics and readers love him. Oh, I understand what all the critics say. His writing is modern. It's American. It's modern American.

*cough*Bullshit*cough*

But there are others who see through him. Others who know. You can find them if you try, but it isn't easy. One of the more interesting critics of McCarthy (and a few of his partners in crime) is B.R. Myers whose book, A Reader's Manifesto, dissects and criticizes the current state of American literature. I read an excerpt of the book that appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, and I couldn’t agree with him more. The book is now high on my "to read" list.

The strange thing is, I like the ideas McCarthy has for his books. He just shouldn't write them. No Country for Old Men was a fantastic film. I'm fairly certain the book would drive me crazy. Despite my ranting here, I will watch the film adaptation of The Road. It could be very good. For that matter, Blood Meridian is also being adapted into a film. I'm sure I'll watch that, too.

I think what bothers me most about this is all the English classes I had that pummeled me with all those rules (and trust me, there's a lot of rules). What about all the practice writing we did—the essays, the short stories, the feature articles? The teachers didn't hesitate to point out the mistakes or confusing passages. If I had McCarthy'ed a few of my papers in college, my professors would have blown a gasket. I work for a company that develops training materials. Everyday we strive for clear, readable writing. Is all that for nothing? Is this the future of writing in this country? Who really wants to read books, articles, etc. if the authors look like they don't know what they're doing?

If you do, more power to you I guess, but I don't—there's too many other, better things out there to read.

* Yes, I know that's a lot of hyphens.

BC Wheat LTRS

2008-06-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

So I went to one of my favorite restaurants today for lunch—Taylor’s Sandwich Shop. I saw a flyer on the door announcing that they were closing today, and they would re-open in a week under new ownership with an exciting new menu.

An “exciting new menu?” What the….

Taylor’s is regularly packed at lunchtime from local businesses, and with people—like me—willing to make a bit of an inconvenient drive to get one of the best damn sandwiches in this part of the state—maybe the entire state! They do such a good business that they close at 3:30 during the week and are closed on weekends.

An “exciting new menu?”

I’m not sure how long I’ve been going to Taylor’s, maybe 6 years now. While I have tried some of their other items, I settled into what became my sandwich pretty early on:

Broiled chicken, on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, horseradish, and barbecue sauce. Otherwise known as BC Wheat LTRS in “Taylor Speak.”

I ordered it so often, I learned the code and would just ask for a “BC Wheat LTRS.” I ordered it so often, they got the order ready when they saw me walk in. I ordered it so often, that if the cook saw me before the cashier did, he’d just point at me and say: “BC Wheat LTRS?” I would point back and say: “You know it.” He would nod and the transaction was complete. It was beautiful.

Say it once with me: BC Wheat LTRS.

Come closer and let me tell you something.

It’s the greatest sandwich ever made.

An “exciting new menu?”

Are these new owners going to mess with a perfectly good thing? While waiting in line I overheard someone say the new place was going to serve grinders. Grinders. Who the @&#$ wants a grinder? Sounds like something you pay to get from a cheap exotic dancer.

Crap.

Only time will tell what this change means. But I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

1/6: Death Comes in Bright Colors. Bright, Bright, Gawdy Colors

2008-06-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

And now for something a bit different!

Heh.

Pieces-parts include:

Some clothing from Triad Toys
Weapons from 21st Century, McFarlane Toys, Mononofu
Head re-do by Andrea (An42)—Hey, that rhymes!

I really like the gloved hands, but they don't hold weapons very well...

For the record, I also refer to her as Dragon Lady, which is the name Andrea gave the head sculpt when she did it—I see no reason to change it. I also call her Matrix Chick #3. And, yes, that means I also have Matrix Chicks #1 and #2.

Click the thumbnails for the larger versions.

Death Comes in Bright Colors...

Cheaper Than a Dime Bag!

2008-06-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

I read earlier today that Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen from Courtney Love's home in LA. My first thought:

Did anyone check to see if she just snorted them?

Do We Really Need to Know Who the Caterer Was?

2008-06-01T17:12:00.001-07:00

I'll admit it. I'm a movie credit reader. Not sure why really. Maybe it's just a fascination with what is involved in making a movie. However, it seems like credits get longer every year. Have you ever watched a movie from the 40s or 50s? The credits were all at the start, and were over very quickly. Those days are long gone.

I found this graphic over at one my favorite sites, Pixdaus. It compares the credits from some big movies over the years. It's pretty obvious why movies cost so much now when studios employ small towns for the productions.

Not 1/6: McFarlane’s Monsters Frankenstein Playsets

2008-05-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Monster Playsets were some of McFarlane's earliest attempts to expand beyond the Spawn action figure line. They were mini action figure dioramas—stylishly reinterpreted—focusing on classic monsters: The Phantom of the Opera, The Mummy, Dracula, etc.

The McFarlane’s Monsters Frankenstein Playset 1 came out in 1997 and features Igor with Frankenstein's monster strapped to an experiment table.

The McFarlane’s Monsters Frankenstein Playset 2 came out in 1998 and features Dr. Frankenstein and a second monster—this time with two heads. This set also has a blue plastic lightning bolt you can spin manually. A nice touch.

Both are rich in details and nicely painted. They came with a variety of cool accessories: Lab tools and the occasional, random body parts. What makes these two sets special is how they fit together. Sure, you can display them separately—if you're some kind of boring loser. But if you're a cool collector, you could assemble them into one bi-level diorama.

Oh yeah, now you're talking.

These are the only monster playsets I purchased. The others were interesting, but just not as cool. Overall, both are some of the better additions to my non-1/6 collection.

Click the dead then reanimated thumbnails for the larger versions.

McFarlane’s Monsters Frankenstein Playsets

Playset 1...

Playset 2...

The complete package...